Mothers – An Endangered Species
INTRODUCTION:
I. I want to take a few moments this morning to talk about a person who plays an important part in the lives of us all.
A. She’s known for the varied jobs she performs.
1. She’s a chef, and a chauffeur, she’s a first-aid technician and a nurse, she’s a resident psychologist, a teacher, a baby-sitter and maid.
2. And yet the interesting thing about all this is that she doesn’t get paid a dime for all she does.
3. Nor would she accept any financial payment in the first place – because she willingly does all this work voluntarily.
B. She is also known for her uncanny talents and abilities.
1. It’s said she can hear the lid open on a cookie jar from 100 feet away, has six pair of hands to do a dozen things at once, and is known to have eyes in the back of her head.
C. If you haven’t guessed by now who I’m talking about, let me clue you in.
1. I’m talking about the woman, without whom none of us would be here today – our mother.
II. Tough and tender, wise and warm – a mother must be all these things to all her family, at all times.
A. That’s quite a job description, when you think about it.
1. How does she do it?
2. How does a mother become the kind of woman that will have a positive and lasting impact for good on her family – especially her children?
B. I want to take some time this morning, to talk about the qualities that the Scriptures say are needed in a woman who is destined to build a good home.
BODY:
I. Every home – yours and mine – needs to be built on a firm foundation.
A. But to build the right kind of foundation, it takes the right kind of tools.
1. In the 24th chapter of Proverbs, Solomon tells us about the tools a mother needs to establish a home on a rock-solid foundation.
a. Solomon wrote, “Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 24:3-4
B. Solomon is suggesting that homes are built with three primary tools:
1. Wisdom: The ability to see things with discernment; to view life through God’s eyes; to have heaven’s perspective on what is going on around us.
2. Understanding: The skill of responding with insight; being able to read between the lines; to get down to the bottom of an issue, and see things from the viewpoint of another.
3. Knowledge: The rare trait of being able to go beyond the facts, to perceive, discover and grow with your child; getting inside the mind and the heart of that little one you call your son or daughter.
C. In a sense, all these tools deal with a mother’s ability to relate – relate to her husband and especially to her children.
1. With God-given wisdom, understanding and knowledge, you Moms can be filling the rooms of your home with a rich heritage of godly character traits, deep relationships, and lasting memories.
II. The New Testament briefly tells us about a particular mother who used the tools of wisdom, understanding and knowledge to raise her son.
A. We’re not really told a great deal about this woman, but we do know that she and her own mother made a tremendous impact in the spiritual life of her son.
1. In fact, this young man was so spiritually dedicated and faithful to the Lord, that the great apostle Paul was drawn like a magnet to this young man, and began a fifteen-year friendship with him
2. And as Paul lay sick in a Roman dungeon, it was this young man that he sought out to be with him during those final days and bring him the comfort that only a dedicated Christian could bring.
3. Of course, we’re talking about Timothy.
III. Paul begins his last letter to this long-time friend by looking back on their friendship with gratitude and good memories.
A. And in the verses that follow, we see why Timothy had such wonderful qualities.
1. They were qualities that only a mother could teach.
a. Paul begins by writing, “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, to Timothy, a beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:1-7
IV. From these verses, we can see that Timothy’s mother imparted five distinct qualities that enriched his life.
A. The first quality that Timothy’s mother taught him is what we might call a TRANSPARENT TENDERNESS.
1. I think it’s particularly important that Paul made special mention of Timothy’s tears – “Being mindful of your tears…” (v. 4)
a. Paul remembered Timothy’s tenderness – a trait that was probably passed down to him by his mother.
2. In fact, most of us learned tenderness from our mothers, while our fathers taught us diligence.
a. From dad we probably learned the value of hard work, the significance of honesty, and the importance of standing alone, even if everyone else turns against us.
b. But we learned transparent tenderness from our mothers.
3. Mothers – don’t lose that quality.
a. It’s one of the greatest contributions you can make to your family.
b. Your warm embrace, reassuring smile, and soft reply will always be a safe harbor for a child who gets tossed and battered by life’s stormy seas.
B. But there is another quality mentioned by Paul – AUTHENTIC SPIRITUALITY.
1. Paul goes on to talk about Timothy’s heritage – his roots.
a. Paul added, “… I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” (v. 5)
2. The Greek term for “genuine” (“genuine faith”) comes from a word that means “un-hypocritical.”
a. Paul is saying, there’s nothing phony in Timothy’s life – it’s real, genuine, and one that’s lived out.
3. Paul knew that the sincere faith Timothy showed in his life was first modeled in the life of his mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois.
a. This is why Paul later told Timothy, “But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” 2 Timothy 3:14-15
4. That’s the way authentic spirituality works.
a. We can send our children to the best schools (public or private), and make sure they have the right friends.
b. We can make sure they become familiar with the Bible, and do all their Bible lessons for church, and we can tell them all about God and Jesus.
c. But none of this will matter if the truth of God’s word is not lived out in the home – and especially lived out in the lives of their mother and father.
5. Timothy was richly blessed by having a mother who demonstrated authentic spirituality, and for having his grandmother also demonstrate this same quality in her life.
a. Do you see now what one generation does will effect what happens to the next?
C. Not only did Timothy’s mother posses the qualities of transparent tenderness, and authentic spirituality, she also had INNER CONFIDENCE.
1. Paul recognized this quality in Timothy’s life as well – a quality that is developed by first seeing it in others.
a. “Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:6-7
2. Timothy did not possess the “spirit of fear, but of power…”
a. The word “power” (Gk. “dunamis”) carries the idea of “inherent strength” and “inner might.”
3. Fear and timidity are certainly not a desirable trait – it’s always a synonym for insecurity or inferiority.
a. It’s amazing how your children can sense your own attitude toward yourself – and how they will emulate it, whether it’s good or bad.
b. One of the reasons Timothy was able to stand strong in the ministry, and remain faithful to the Scriptures, was because of his own inner confidence.
c. Who else, but Timothy’s mother, could have instilled that quality in him?
4. We are living in an age where children are suffering from epidemic low self-esteem.
a. Listen to these words from Dr. James Dobson: “It is a wise adult who understands that self-esteem is the most fragile characteristic in human nature, and once broken, its reconstruction is more difficult than repairing Humpty Dumpty… Although our task is more difficult for some children than for others, there are ways to teach a child of his genuine significance, regardless of the shape of his nose, or the size of his ears, or the efficiency of his mind. Every child is entitled to hold up his head, not in haughtiness and pride, but in confidence and security. This is the concept of human worth intended by our Creator. How foolish for us to doubt our value when He formed us in His own image!. . . When the child is convinced that he is greatly loved and respected by his parents (and let me add, especially by his mother), he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person.”
5. Inner confidence, like transparent tenderness and authentic spirituality, is passed down from generation to generation, as in Timothy’s life – from grandmother Lois, to mother Eunice, to son Timothy.
a. How is your self-esteem, mothers?
b. And, are you taking time to learn how to cultivate a positive self-esteem in the life of your child?
D. Look again at verse 7 for the fourth quality that mothers can pass on – UNSELFISH LOVE.
1. Paul not only noticed that Timothy possessed the quality of power (inner strength), but also the quality of genuine and unselfish love.
a. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
2. The word “love” in this verse is the Greek word “agape.”
a. It is the kind of love that seeks the highest good in another person.
b. Mothers, this quality needs to be seen in every facet of your lives.
3. But there are two special ways you can let this love show through.
a. One is in your sense of humor.
(1). When you can laugh in the midst of pressures and refuse to take yourself too seriously, it will create a positive, non-threatening environment in which your children can grow.
b. The other is in your sense of insight.
(1). When you listen to all the hurts, and really hear your children (“listen with your eyes”), then your child will know that you really do care, and that they really are important.
E. But there is also one last quality that mothers can instill in their children – SELF-CONTROL.
1. Take a final look at Paul’s praise of Timothy.
a. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
2. Good mothers are always careful to balance tenderness and love with discipline.
a. They set certain parameters, and they know when it’s time to say, “That’s enough! That’s as far as you’re going!”
3. In his wonderful book “Hide or Seek,” Dr. James Dobson tells the story of a research project conducted by Dr. Stanley Coopersmith, associate professor of psychology at USC.
a. After studying 1,738 middle-class boys and their families over a number of years, Coopersmith identified three important differences between the families of boys with high self-esteem and those with low self-esteem.
(1) First, the high-esteem children were more loved and appreciated at home.
(a) Their parent’s love was deep and real.
(b) When the parent said, “I love you,” the boys knew those words were sincere, and had depth of feeling and meaning.
(2) Second, and perhaps most revealing, the high-esteem group had parents whose approach to discipline was significantly more strict.
(a) Their parents taught them self-control.
(b) In contrast, the parents of the low-esteem group were much more permissive, creating a sense of insecurity.
(c) And this group was more likely to feel that no one cared for them enough to enforce the rules.
(3) Finally, the high-esteem group had homes that were characterized by democracy and open communication,
(a) Once boundaries were established, the boys had the freedom to ask questions and express themselves in an environment of acceptance.
4. Mothers, never underestimate the value of teaching self-control.
a. By doing that – by disciplining your children in a way that is evenly balanced with love and tender compassion – you’re:
(1) Building your children’s character.
(2) Enhancing their self-esteem.
(3) Helping them learn to be responsible for themselves.
5. Years ago, Dorothy Law Nolte wrote a now-familiar poem about what children learn. She wrote:
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns appreciation.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
CONCLUSION:
I. Let’s go back to the foundation we began the lesson with.
A. Do you remember the question we asked – “How does a mother become the kind of woman that will have a positive and lasting impact for good on her family – especially her children?”
1. The answer to that question is that she needs to build a solid foundation using the proper tools.
B. Do you remember what those tools were?
1. Solomon said, “Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 24:3-4
2. And those “precious and pleasant riches” that a mother fills her house with are:
a. A Transparent Tenderness
b. Authentic Spirituality
c. Inner Confidence
d. Unselfish Love
e. Self-Control
C. Perhaps the most effective way for children to really learn what the love of God is all about, is to experience it through their parents – especially their mothers.
1. Mom’s, never, never underestimate or doubt the value of the role you play in the lives of your children.
2. Without your positive, supportive partnership, the family could not survive.
D. Our mother may still be living, or she may have long since passed from this life.
1. But, if you’re like most of us, the precious memories of all she did for you still warms your heart.
2. Our father’s play an important part in our lives, but perhaps none is as important as the role the mother plays.
3. For most, if not all, of the good qualities that grace our lives were put there by our mothers.
E. And mom’s, someday, when you give up your children – letting them go out into the world – then perhaps you will begin to understand more fully how difficult it was for one particular woman two-thousand years ago to let her Son leave the warmth and safety of her home.
1. That mother was Mary, and that Son was Jesus.
II. As we bring this lesson of tribute to mothers to a close, try to imagine how heart-breaking it was for that mother to helplessly stand by and watch her Son endure all the torment and shame of the Cross.
A. And yet, Jesus did it all for you and me.
1. Without His great sacrifice, we would still be in our sins – and the hope of heaven would still be some distant dream.
2. But Jesus made it possible for you and me to be made free from our sins through believing in Him to be the Son of God, by repenting of our sins, by confessing our faith in Him, and by being buried with Him in baptism for the remission of our sins.